"Heart in my throat"

I had a meeting with a woman I don't know today, just like every other day. She needed Billy and me to cater her event, just like every other day. Truth be told, I dreaded the meeting, just like every other day. She booked us almost 9 months in advance and has wanted to talk shop ever since. I like to book them and then forget them until two weeks before...so I can focus on the parties that are right around the corner; but she was persistent, and I made time to spend with her to discuss the "details."

She was giving me all of the glorious details of a well-planned and very personal surprise birthday party for her husband. Far more information than I would ever need to execute my end of the event, but she wanted to tell me everything that she had worked so hard to put together.

I couldn't decide if she was nervous, shy or just uptight. She spoke slowly and pronounced every syllable of each word.

Her cell phone rang and she quickly answered it. I gathered it was the guest of honor, so I made every effort to be quiet (despite the insatiable need to clear my throat). She made up a story about where she was, made plans for later in the day and hung up. I sensed her become even more uncomfortable and that is when she told me her husband had just been diagnosed with leukemia.

She was holding back tears (rivers, I presume) and said, " I am sorry, I just had to answer that. Since he found out two weeks ago, he has been holding his heart ache so tightly...I just can't miss an opportunity to talk to him. "

"I walk with my heart in my throat most of the time," working hard to compose herself.

By this time my heart had moved past my throat and was sitting on my tongue. She must have thought I was crazy. My face heated up and my eyes were filled with the kind of tears that feel so uncontrollable. I didn't lose it, which was a feat in itself, but I peaked over the cliff of sobbing and pulled back.

Heart ache is the universal language. Doesn't matter who you are or what you are enduring. I haven't experienced any pain directly recently, but my heart is broken for the people around me who are suffering. It can't be as deep a break as theirs, but maybe when you can't hurt anymore, other hearts pick up the slack.