Dear Noah

I met your little sister, Tess (fourth child) today. I suppose you know that the announcement of her conception fell in the time of our deepest sorrow. Something about her birth brought back so much loss, while somehow reminding us of incredible, undeserved gain.

Not long out of your mother's womb, I got to hold her close. It reminded me of seeing you in your parent's rental house. We would have small group on Wednesday nights and you would roll around on the floor. Our first was still growing inside, so we didn't yet know how much there was out there. You knew something, but your cute jammies and coos disguised how much there was to know in you.

It was good to know you, Noah. Your short life changed the way we see things, the way we live our life; the way we talk to our kids.

I looked into your mother's eyes and I knew she was different. She carried a burden heavier than most, but somehow her eyes twinkled when she looked at little Tess. She would be the first to tell you she isn't the sentimental type, but her grateful heart was on her sleeve. You knew that.

Lily often says how much she wants to see you, but how scared she is to go to Heaven.

"I don't want to be old like Grampa, Mom; because he gets tired and has to take a break," as she proclaims her unconditional love. "I just want to play with Noah and give him my blanket."

So, here we are, inviting your little sister into our world; knowing full well that there is something better that awaits us all.

We miss you, Noah. Your Creator did great things in our hearts in knowing you.

Until then,
Us